If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
