this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
