There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
