I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
