"it" just moved
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize