im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
