dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
