why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
