Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
