forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm at about main and main street
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Randomize
