Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
