Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
