I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Randomize
