I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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