thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Randomize
