If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
