I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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