Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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