so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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