Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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