I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
