What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
