The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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