Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
