Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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