Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
