he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
