I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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