At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
