he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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