I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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