You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
