you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
