We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
