I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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