lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Vodka?
Forever.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
