btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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