Whod you bang
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize