i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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