I'm going to jail i love you
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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