I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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