I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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