sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
