fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
