My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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