i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Randomize
