They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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