that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
