If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize