I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
