I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
