Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
