There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize