if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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