What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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