Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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