I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
