pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
