Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my phone needs a breathalizer
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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