Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
