**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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