you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
