So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
