No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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