idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
MIDGETS
????
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize