Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
