i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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