The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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